When I look at this word, I either do not recognize it, or I start singing Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell…. but I never think it describes me. But lately, people keep calling me one.
Let us backtrack a bit.
I love learning the fun, and not so fun parts of my personality via the Enneagram. I am strong 9w1 with some helper 2 thrown in for fun. What this means is: I hate conflict. I spend lots of energy avoiding conflict. I want peace and harmony. I want everyone to be happy and get along, and for a very long time, I was willing to maintain that at my own expense (that is so 2019, not doing that anymore!).
So, in my own description of myself, I never would say Rebel. I would say things like:
- My body cannot tolerate synthetic things—I get shaky with artificial sugar much less prescription drugs, so I have had to find another way to deal with pain, how I eat, and medical choices I make.
- I do not do well in corporate workplaces, so I had to find my own way and become self-employed.
- I do not thrive playing roles where I need to be “less than” my authentic self to either fit in or continue the relationship.
It has been a huge struggle with my strong desire for peace and harmony to speak up and be my authentic self—and it is not to be labeled A Rebel. It is to be able to breathe and be happy being myself.
2020 has been a crazy year, and I am trying my best to use this time in my life to continue to make choices that are authentic and healthy for me. I am super grateful for finding Myofascial Release back in my 20’s when my health was starting to sag (I had to wear wrist braces the day following painting a room in my house), so that I could learn the many lessons and start making different choices.
We are all divinely made, with different strengths and weaknesses. I find I am much happier when I step out of people pleasing mode, and step into the person I know I am.
So, hey, call me a rebel!!!! Are you one too???